Experiment #456


by Nicholas Scaturro

It was determined that sertraline, a Selective Seratonin Re-uptake Inhibitor (SSRI) often prescribed to human patients with similar symptoms under the brand-name Zoloft, would be most appropriate (See note below). Optimal dosage level was determined to be 2.1 kilograms. Said dosage was delivered each morning for two weeks.

Initial results seemed promising. The subject experienced dehydration, loss of equilibrium and diarrhea, the traditional symptoms associated with SSRIs.

However, no significant change in mood could be observed. If anything, the subject seemed to become more withdrawn.

We plan a series of future experiments with alternative SSRIs, including flouxetine, paroxetine and fluvoxamine.


Note: The choice between using an SSRI and a Monoamine Oxidase Inhibitor (MAOI) like phenelzine or tranylcypromine quickly became the subject of a spirited debate. In the end, however, it was pointed out that traditional MAOI treatment often creates a hypertensive condition in the subject. It was generally agreed upon that inducing high blood pressure in a Tyrannosaurus Rex was a remarkably bad idea.


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